parents of farcaster: when did you have your first child? if you could do it again, would you have started sooner or waited longer?
28, I would not have started sooner, but I also don't think I would've waited longer That's probably not helpful lol
29, seems about right so far. Less than a year in though lol.
Started at 25 and had 4 by 30. I didn't get time to think about it.
Had my first at 39. I think I did it just right. Less about when to have kids and more about finding someone to have them with and earning what I thought was enough to be comfortable. Of course I underestimated that and then had a second one.
38, and honestly I'm glad I waited. Needed a few decades to be self-centered. I might have waited a little longer, but as I am the mother it was safer not to wait forever. In the end, it was the perfect timing.
38, sooner (overthought it for years)
I wanted kids pretty early. I wanted to have as many years as I could…especially younger years. She wanted to wait and enjoy our time together knowing kids change a relationship. We had our first after being married for 6 years. In hindsight timing was really good.
37 —and recommend earlier for sure! (cuz Murtaugh rule)
25. I always wanted to be a young dad, but a few more years figuring out how to be a good husband and maybe get NOT broke first would have been cool. Another point - we’re always like 10-15 years younger than the other parents. Having kids the same age as our friends sounds rad. 4 kids in @ 36, and it’s dope af
37 Main delay for me was a divorce, probably would have had kids 5ish years earlier if first marriage had worked 2nd marriage moved about as fast as it could have towards children
31 (a year ago) and nope, timed it perfectly. It’s a delicate balancing act of resources (time, money) but I’d like my child(ren) to grow up modest and not have things handed to them.
34 was my first, 42 was my last and also one at 36. as noted in other replies, i needed the time to approach my center. I wish i was better at *that* as being physically younger might be nice but my emotional age was right.
25. Wouldn’t change anything. My kids have shaped everything in my life for the better. Waiting longer would have delayed the best decision making tool I’ve ever been given.
30 for first, 36 for second. Wont change 30 but will probably have second by 33/34.
First at 42. Second at 44. Done at 46! I think I started at the perfect age; financially stable enough to provide my kids with a life I could never have dreamed of, but not too set in my ways that I can't adapt to the shit show that is ensuing along the way.
33, in theory I wish I had started at like 28 but I’ve lived a lot of life between 28-33 that makes me the mom that I am today so I think to some extent it all works out.
First at 37, second at 40. We would have wanted them earlier, but nature was not on our part. 2 years trying, lost one, trying again, lost another… Sometime it’s not so automatic to plan a baby. Btw in general they require a lot of energy (we have two boys). Younger parents have more energies to give.
29 and would have started sooner By comparison my parents had me at 21 and I was out of the house by the time they were 40 So I had lots of time with them when they had the most energy, and now they’re living a great life still youngish (in their 50s) and enjoying time with their grandkids
34. Sooner. Feel like 28 is the perfect age.
40. Wanted to start sooner, but sometimes a) choices you make have consequences b) you do not always succeed immediately. It's not always something you control. And if you don't, you play the hand your dealt with to the best of your ability. I think I'm doing quite good, and I feel I'm winning at life at the moment.
19 (married, planned) while I was young and sometimes struggled, I had the energy and wonder still to nurture and be present fully. I'm 40 and sending my second into the world now. Maybe I'd delay it 2-3 years, but not much more.
36 - just right timing Imo ~30 is a great age to find a partner. Spend ~5 together before adding another to the fam - able to fk around, travel, build buffer in your 20s without the responsibility of another person - a better sense of self and maturity to know what a child needs BUT everyone’s life is different
First at 35, second at 39. I wouldn't have done it sooner, I got time to enjoy freedom of responsibilities for a while, and save some money.
I will preface with the fact that I no longer reminisce about changing the past because I always end up thinking, “then I wouldn’t have my exact children I have now and nothing is worth that.” BUT I would have started earlier. Life is better with children and ultimately everything else I achieve is meaningless
29 This comment from HN captures a lot of my feelings on it:
I had my kids at 28, 29, and 32. There was a period in my late 30s I wished I had waited bc I was comparing myself to other women my age who had achieved more than me professionally, but that was mostly fleeting. Can’t change the past anyway, so no regrets.
23. It was hard and I'm a better father now than I was then but I wouldn't change the timing if I could. I wouldn't have matured and had the same drive to get my career in a solid place as soon otherwise.
Oh man.. I'm 35 and my wife want a kid for next birthday... Should I sell her ?
38. I think it was the right age. I was at a good time career-wise to be able to provide for everything, have had enough carefree fun until then to not have regrets, and at peak physical and mental health to take on the new, challenging journey of fatherhood.
We were both 32. One evening realized the “right time” would never come as there was always a reason why not now. Removed here IUD myself that evening and welcomed the second when we were 33. Next life perhaps a bit sooner, but not much.
We were both 32. One evening realized the “right time” would never come as there was always a reason why not now. Removed here IUD myself that evening and were lucky enough to welcome the second when we were 33. Next life perhaps a bit sooner, but not much.
35+ Wouldnt change a thing. Wasn't ready to be mom before then and we really enjoyed being a couple beforehand.. Definitely rewired us in a good way..
41, originally aimed for ~30 Aim for 30-35 if you’re with an emotionally accountable and mutually enriching partner. Later if you’re partner isn’t that way. Kids with the wrong person is way worse than feeling a bit old as a dad.
because of the amount of changes that feel evolutionary that parenthood bring into the human experience i would say: go for it
We took our kid home from the hospital on my 36th birthday. I think we pretty much nailed it. We were in a solid financial situation and both well established in our respective fields, so we can give her all the attention she needs. Even a few years earlier would have been much harder for us.
one thing i got out of this post....crypto FC is kinda boomer 😂 30 - sooner.
32, 2-4 years sooner theoretically, but the timing right now is kinda perfect unrelated to age. More time with baby would be awesome. Focused on living much longer than the average person anyways!
