one of the biggest changes in myself is giving myself permission to have agency 😎 also being okay with eventually losing, i guess? that one of those acts might be my last, not in the suicidal way but in a sort of 'better to die on your feet than live on your knees' way
go well! i am prepared to lose because i am prepared to learn, and i am always better for learning. have found putting this first leads to confidence (not without struggle) -- or agency as you have mentioned